Tuesday, July 28, 2009

A welcome push

Amongst my peers I am known for what I like to call directness and what they would describe as stroppiness. It's not that I aim to be rude or snotty or tactless, I just like to know where I stand with people and like them to know where they stand with me. So, if you piddle on my battery I will feel nothing to tell you exactly that. And I would expect that you would tell me the same. Except that it doesn't always work that way.

You see, a lot of the people who don't know me well enough to know my motives would and do find it intimidating to be called out on their behaviour in my presence. I don't mean to alienate by it, but it seems I do. Even those who do know me well think twice before pushing my buttons, probably because as much as they know I need to hear certain things, they don't relish the thought of me cutting them down to size if I disagree. Bit of an awkard situation and all of my own making.

Except for my one friend. This lovely lady is smart enough to be blunt with me and thick-skinned enough to brush aside whatever retorts I may have, knowing that often my response is reactive and not considered. She knows what is good for me, often before I know it myself. She pushes me to be better, to chase what I want and need, to not cop out of my own dreams. She tells me when I'm bullshitting myself, she throws my pitiful excuses back at me and tears apart the weaknesses in my arguments. She challenges me in so many ways and yet I think she has no idea of how huge her impact on my life has been. (She will shortly methinks, since she is the only one who asks when the next blog is coming, why so long, get going with this, get writing...thanks my mafia-monkey-rose friend...)

It's amazing that it just takes one person, one voice to cut through the crap. Amazing that another person can sometimes see you more clearly than you see yourself. And how lucky for me that that person is someone I consider a friend.