It occurred to me at some point this week that I should probably stop rolling my eyes at every bit of psycho-babble that my sister-in-law espouses. There are valid points made periodically. It also occurred to me that I should really stop hero-worshipping my late father, that cynicism is really not that attractive a trait, and that my mother's eternal optimism is perhaps not quite as naive or as unworthy of my admiration as I like to imagine.
Also this week, I fired (imagined, not real) all of our weeding team in a fit of irritation (real, not imagined), got fighting drunk with my husband, cast my vote in the local government elections, dropped a grand in the vet's pocket, had my meds wildly mis-dispensed by the pharmacist and helped a Telkom technician poison the nest of ants which has rendered us internet-less for at least the past fortnight.
I've watched myself wake up from the haze of depression and accept that I am, in fact, an outrageously emotional creature when not in the grips of neuronic imbalances. I have had squabble after squabble with my darling husband, all in the name of coming to terms with how little of anything I have felt for the last few months. I know this man loves me, because he lets me say horrific things to him whilst I'm belligerently blotto without so much as a raised eyebrow, and he accepts my stiff apologies with grace and not a hint of bad feeling. It's as if he knows that I need to get this all out, although I don't think he would have actually thought as far as that, it's doesn't appear to be a conscious effort on his behalf. The guy gets me, what more can I say?
I got interviewed by one of my favourite online friends as part of a new feature on local mommy-bloggers on her website - thanks Lisa, the most Mommalicious of them all ;) Naturally, three minutes after the feature went live, my internet went down and so a bunch of new folk finding their way here are reading old news, which annoys me more than I can express. Sorry new people. I was better at this last year.
Amends, making amends, it's all I seem to be doing of late. People who know me in real life - please could you remind me not to fall this far down a hole again? It's bloody hard work getting out of it. Thanks.
The only other thing I really need to say right now is this - how gorgeous is the late morning sun burning off the mist outside my bedroom window?